By the end of the night I was convinced a very large inflatable whoopee cushion could either be filled with massive amounts of compressed smoke, almost like a small travel sized canister of propane, but filled with some of Canada’s finest bud or it could be filled with the foulest fart smell imaginable.
Either one would work and all I would need to do is silently release it under the adjoining door (I’m always in the room with the adjoining door) and either the fighting will end and the giggling will begin (more likely sex), or they will just be too elevated to remember what petty thing in their life they were fighting about in the first place.
The fart smell would be funnier for me of course, but I don’t mind listening to live sex through a door as an alternative, I just don’t want to see their faces the next day in the hallway, in my mind Jessica Alba is next door with some dude she decided to be with until she meets me.
I imagine we meet on the movie set about my life, she plays my daughter so it's a bit creepy, but eh...it's fucking Jessica Alba and she doesn't really look like my kid.
I may have to develop a double ended canister that I can carry with me while I travel and then pick which gas depending on the situation. If I want to go to sleep I’ll give them the THC, if I’m going to be up longer anyway and need a laugh I’ll do the fart smell until they are forced to call maintenance.
Or I may just open the THC gas to max so it fills up both rooms and we all get a peaceful night’s sleep.
I need someone to invent a dual chamber canister that is small enough for me to carry in my backpack and can silently release either THC or fart at various levels of concentration and duration. If I saw that on Shark Tank I would buy.