My Maintenance CoRRection Experience
by David Wourms
I still remember the first in-person staff meeting. I wish I could forget. Rather than describe the spectacle I’ll share with you my raw thoughts:
Peter and Cam have been talking about electrical power bars for a half hour. Who the fuck cares so much about power bars? I couldn’t come up with 30 seconds of information about them, let alone a half hour conversation. Why are they wasting their lives on this crap?
Oh, now Peter is showing me the how he doesn’t have to turn his laptop around to plug something in because he drew arrows on his case to show him the USB slots. WOW! That’s amazing Peter, how are you not a tech guru with all this brilliant advice?
What the fuck have I gotten myself into with this bunch. I’m glad I changed my name before starting with them, I don’t want my real name associated with this bullshit.
Fuck me, now one of them is giving the recipe for seafood sauce, and how you can make it at home and save 50 cents. My life is complete now. I wonder if they will ever talk about the actual software and what a piece of shit it is?
No, apparently not, now they are talking about which cell phone is best. How lonely are these people? Just get the fuck on with it and stroke each other's balls later on. I don’t have time for this shit.
The online Skype meetings were no better. I eventually gave up and made some bingo cards online and waited for specific terms to pop up in the conference. It usually was about complaining about the USA and their lack of support for Canada. All I could think of was “THEN WHY DON’T YOU DO SOMETHING YOU STUPID FUCKERS”. But no, passive as ever, no one ever challenged the USA.
No one except me, eventually I would get my chance.